Animal Relocation Project of My Own

Today, I learned that I love my kid more than most people who know me thought possible. Either that, or my penchant for being thrifty is greater than my fear of spiders. A very kind woman who lives not far from me advertised a free outdoor playhouse, and I was lucky enough to be selected as the home’s new owner. Connor has always loved these homes, but I didn’t think it worth the cash to purchase one. That, and I’d hate for them to become so mundane that he doesn’t get at all excited when he sees one.

Because Ed and I drive a small car, the house needed to be taken apart and moved in two shifts. I went on a solo mission initially, because frankly Connor doesn’t tend to be all that helpful on adventures such as these and Ed was still at work. The previous owner of the home failed to mention that I would need a screwdriver to get the house apart, but thankfully a very kind construction worker up the street lent me the appropriate tool. This is where the project almost ended. Inside the home, there were probably 20 spiders – and a few insect carcasses to boot. At this point, I wasn’t certain it was worth it, but I forged onward, and was able to get the roof off the house only dropping the screwdriver a couple of times to do my patented “ewww…there’s a spider NEAR me” dance, which is the only way I know to get them to back off. Trust me, the closest I want to come to a spider is the singing of the Itsy Bitsy Spider, which Connor surprised me today by performing some of the hand motions unprompted. I suspect this is something he’s been doing with his nanny.


Ed joined me on the second portion of the mission because it involved lifting the two large pieces above my head and tying them onto the roof of the car. That mission was actually easier because I couldn’t see all the spiders that remained on these two pieces and could pretend they all skittered away after I disturbed them earlier in the day. I suspect I will be proven wrong about this tomorrow when I go to clean the house, but the fantasy was nice. Thus, there are now about 20 spiders relocated from the yard the house came from to my backyard. I’m sort of going in the opposite direction of my dad. He reports that the current counts for his animal relocation project are:

Squirrels - 17
Birds - 7
Raccoons- 2
Possums - 1
Rabbits - 1

Though the garden lays dormant, my dad’s mission to rid the yard of squirrels continues. Reportedly, he’s going to stay in the trapping business a bit longer to see how many more squirrels he can catch.

Connor – if you don’t like your new playhouse, please pretend that you do because as I type this, I can STILL feel the spiders crawling up my arms. I will not be attempting any more animal relocation projects of my own anytime soon. Ewww!

Elaine